Comment to Eric's post

This week has been hard, no doubt. I am overwhelmed with feelings that I cannot fully explain...sadness, confusion, helplessness, hope, desire, fear, protectiveness, etc! Things are getting better, though. Eric wrote that he was seeing his wife "crash." That is a bit dramatic in my mind...yes, he probably was/is very concerned. He would come home late (gone 7am-6-7pm) right from the get go without time for Charlie and I to adjust to our new surroundings with him. Charlie and I are going through a time of transition, I know that now. Slowly, as I become more acquainted with people, spend time with them, get out and learn more about my surroundings, it gets better. I had a good cry last night which was cathartic. I needed to get it out! I woke up early the next morning and felt a lot better. I packed Charlie up and put him on my back in his backpack and we set out for the morning.

We ended up walking about 25 minutes into town where I met a man named Filamino. He works at a car washing station and then uses his "disposable income" to invest in his business, a gardening shop. The "shop" consists of a piece of land in town with plant of many varieties. The plants look a bit wilted but were probably just hot from the midday sun. He says that life in Tanzania is hard. He has to support 2 kids and his wife on his income and living in Arusha is expensive for him. He is currently also going to school to be a tour guide and got a lot of practice yesterday touring me around for 4 hours! I wanted to see a museum and he asked if he could escort me. I happily agreed as he was the first person I met that could speak enough English to have a long conversation with and I have been starved for some interaction like that lately. We went to the museum of Declaration documenting Tanzania's independence in 1961 by president Nuyere (I think I have the spelling right...). He introduced a socialist state, freed the people and also ran the whites out of town. Tanzania since went bankrupt under the socialist system and is now in a state of transition (not sure what they would call their government now). People like Nuyere because he freed them but also are angry that he ran all the whites out of town because with that he ran out all the people who were educating and providing medical assistance for the people. As a result, Tanzania is filled with a majority of people that speak little to no English, many are uneducated and the health care is horrible. Eric wrote in his last email a little about it. What I understand is that many people seek out medicinal remedies from the Masai who come down for a few days/week from their villages. Others seek medical attention at government run hospitals that offer shifty care. If you want to be really well taken care of, you go to Seliani Hospitali (where Eric is working) but it costs an arm and a leg for these people and only the rich can afford it...which is something I want to learn more about. I guess they have a CAT scan (as Eric mentioned in his last post) but there is no one there besides the Australian internist that can read it and he is leaving the end of April. He tries to educate them but it is a difficult thing to do and he says that he would not trust their readings. Plus, if they wanted to send the images to someone in the states, for example, it would be impossible because they don't have a strong enough internet signal. So, bottom line, they have a CAT scan (with some missing parts...more money and more parts come) but no one to read it! That has to be frustrating. I am learning, though, that things here go slow and in no particular order. Pole, pole...a saying in swahili which means slowly, slowly. It also means something on the order of, "I feel for you," and is said often while Joel, the ID doctor, is running along the streets...he doesn't have the greatest form, is about 60 years old but runs every day. The people here are warm and welcoming and friendly. I can't say enough about them which makes the "shock" a little easier to sluff off.

Today, I am supposed to be going to a step by step house for the handicapped to assist in the morning while Charlie is watched by 2 caretakers there. Really, the perfect scenario...someone looking after him while I can do some work but also knowing that he is in eyes view. The problem is that I haven't heard back from Linda in regards to what time she is going to pick me up. Just go with the flow, Laura... I am trying my hardest. I am so looking forward to this so I hope it works out. I am trying to not set my expectations too high, though, and just take in the experience. This is still a bit of a battle but the tide is lifting...pole, pole...